Thursday, July 19, 2018

Confirmation

So may times when someone is interested us, we wait for confirmation on whether this person is right for us or not. That can be a trick of the devil because we find ways to talk ourselves out of things. If someone comes into your life, they are there for a reason and you need to pursue that to the fullest which very well mean they are the right dating partner for you.

We should want to be with our best friend. If you have an opposite sex best friend you trust your life with, you need to pursue that person.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

It's Not You, It is Me

This one is a little more understandable. After we get out of a relationship, we do need to heal. It really says a lot about a person when they are able to jump from one relationship to another without skipping a beat. When we break up with someone it should hurt. However, at some point we have to get back on the horse and stop lumping all men or all women into one category. If we meet that person who has a connection with us that we can talk to about anything, that is a relationship that should be explored because every time we talk to that person, they are helping us heal just a little bit more. Imagine how many great things they could do for us if we actually gave them a romantic chance?

The Dreaded Friend Zone

This one makes no sense to me. You like someone enough to want to be friends with them but you won't consider them as dating potential? Think about it. Obviously there are some qualities in that friend you would look for in a potential dating partner. You don't become friends unless you have some commonality and the person is fun to hang out with and talk to. Yet instead we want to date people who often are jerks to us that we can't talk to about anything?

You never ever should put anyone in a friend zone category. We cheat ourselves out of potential great relationships by saying, "Oh she is just a friend. Oh, he is just a friend." If they are good enough to be your friend, they are going to consider dating especially if they are a close friend.

Men and Women Were Not Intended To Be Best Friends

Okay, I know some of you are going to disagree with this but here is the cold hard truth, men and women are not the same and men and women cannot be friends long-term without some type of romantic feelings being involved.

First of all, you really do a disservice to the opposite sex when you put them in the trash that is the friend zone. If you like them enough to be a close friend, you have some type of attraction to them whether you want to admit it or not. If they are such a close friend you tell them your innermost secrets, love spending time with them and think about them regularly, you are in denial. The basis of a romantic relationship is having a strong emotional connection. This is why so many of our relationships fail. We go looking toward other people instead of those that are closest to us and while we may have some type of superficial attraction we have nothing in common and there isn't an emotional bond. That best friend of the opposite sex has everything you are looking for in a romantic relationship.

Granted sometimes we have feelings for our best friend and we never say a word because we fear we are going to mess up the dynamics of the relationship. Well guess what? As soon as you started developing feelings for your friend, the dynamics already changed. Isn't it true that when they talk about a significant other you may nod your head in support but it just crushes you. Isn't it true here you are offering emotional support to your friend but he/she seemingly doesn't notice you? All of that hurts badly. You are taking on the role of basically a spouse but get nothing in return. If you have romantic feelings, you need to tell them. Yes, there is a risk but you are miserable in the current state of things anyway. If they are unwilling to give it a chance, then you can stay in the relationship and suffer or you can walk away. Yes walking is going to hurt but staying gives you zero chance of ever healing and that is a hard, hard lesson. Plus when you walk that is the one thing that can change the dynamic because suddenly your opposite sex friend may actually realize what value you brought to them and start seeing you differently.

No one wants to be the male version of a female's best female friends or the female version of a male's best male friends. It is not fair and it hurts. Also it is not fair to the person who may be in a relationship with your best opposite sex friend. They are likely to get jealous which is going to hurt the relationship and then you have to choose which often means someone is getting left out and that simply is not right.


The Real Spill-Issues of the Single Life

Let's face it being single sucks. People can fool themselves after getting out of a bad relationship into thinking not dating, being unmarried is cool but it is really not. You see other couples who look happy and evenings after work are rough and the weekends are even worse because you sit in a house alone.

It isn't easy being single and it is not fun. So how did this happen to you? Like most people, you probably have people telling you what a great man or woman you are, people like you, many people have told you that you are attractive and you may have lots of friends of the opposite sex yet you are alone and have been for some time.

This blog will discuss those issues. Some of these will be controversial but everything posted here I believe is accurate. For example, we will cover the issue no one wants to talk about. Men and women cannot be best friends for an extended period of time before romantic interest comes into play. We also will talk about how opposite sex best friends are actually people you should be romantically going after.

You should know this blog does not believe in the so called "Friend Zone." It ruins possible relationships and if you like the person enough for them to be your friend, then you like them enough to give them a romantic chance. All relationships are about connections.